It’s been a while since I used a sunbed but my Bestie is getting married next weekend so I thought I’d treat myself to a course.  I’ve left it a bit late but hey ho!  Anyway, once you step in the shop it all comes flooding back.  If you’ve never been before I’ve put together a little guide – 1) If you wear glasses you might not be able to see the START and STOP buttons.  Locate these prior to taking off your glasses and entering the booth 2) If, like me, you’re a “sturdy girl” never, ever use the lie down beds.  Your boobs andRead More →

Whilst leafing through magazines at the hairdressers today (I know, hairdressers – get me!) I came across Hello! Magazine.  Not something I would ordinarily read but I thought I’d have a quick flick through.  One of the first articles I came upon was about the fella that was once the werewolf in True Blood, you might also know him from Magic Mike and his equally gorgeous wife who was in Machete Kills. They were posing in their glorious house so I thought I’d cut through the crap for you.  I’m nice like that. Firstly, a pic of the impossibly attractive pair.  I think they lookRead More →

I’ve been lucky enough to reach the ripe old age of 39 and not have a close encounter with the Big C. Friends and family members I’ve lost have not suffered from cancer.  Until now.  My Bestie’s beautiful mum was diagnosed just over a year ago and now cancer is stealing her from us.  And I’m fucking angry, no, I’m livid.  How dare it? How dare this disease walk into our lives like it owns the place and take someone so wonderful? My Bestie and I grew up together, both of us were only children so we spent most of our time together, right upRead More →

Dear Driver of the Black Volvo (registration withheld because I’m not that much of an arse, although you clearly are) I do hope you made it to your destination in plenty of time.  I’d hate to think that we may have made you a second late for whatever important life event you were attending, or getting your shopping at Sainsburys. Whichever it was you were clearly in a hurry. We certainly welcomed the *beep* you graced us with as we reached the island and you zoomed past practically clipping my ankles.  Of course slowing down was beneath you.  I understand that a woman pushing aRead More →

Yup! I’ve done it! I’ve lost just over a stone in five weeks. No fad diet. No diet club. No starving myself. Just healthy eating and exercise! I know I said I’d try to post weekly about my diet but I’ve been a bit distracted with one thing or another so it’s been nearly two weeks. Anyway.  Who cares? The fact is I’m still losing weight which is in itself a minor miracle.  I normally lose a couple of pounds then give up. I’ve decided there are no “naughty” foods.  Everything in moderation.  I fall down if I feel like I’m depriving myself so thisRead More →

  We’ve all seen the NSFW tag added to videos on the Internet that generally entice me to watch them even more.  Usually with the sound off in case the Ls pick up any words they haven’t yet heard me utter under my breath or use whilst driving.  Anyway I *think* I just made up NSFSR in relation to a friend’s pyjama wearing.  It seems there are pyjamas that are suitable, and some that aren’t.  I’m assuming this also depends on whether you have to leave the confines of your car to walk your children to their classroom or indeed the distance you need toRead More →

You see before you the body of a Lindt chocolate Father Christmas.  He had a good innings.  In my defense he lasted a lot longer than chocolate in our house usually does, at least that was before I decided it was time to shift my arse and lose some weight.  Evidently from the photo I fell off the wagon somewhat this week. Ok, quite a bit.  I’ve had chips, a cheeky Dominos and I’ve decapitated Big L’s chocolate Santa. I’ve mentioned before that I’m an emotional eater, by that I mean if I’m emotional I eat not that I cry through dinner, and the pastRead More →

For as long as I can remember I’ve been on a diet, or at least in need of one.  When I was seven my mum took me to the Dr because I had a cold or some other unrelated illness and the Dr (who himself was, let’s be honest here, a fat fucker) told her I was overweight and sent me to a dietician.  There started my unhealthy relationship with food.  It really started when my parents split up and I would spend the weekend with my father who plied me with sweets and crisps and sat me in the corner of his local pub.Read More →