I’ve seen it all now! Literally! It’s been a while since I received such a thing (see what I did there?) but yes, sadly, I was on the receiving end of a dick pic or two in my time.  I even had a video sent to me once. He was tugging away furiously and it looked quite uncomfortable. It was quite disappointing and I’m not sure why the sender was so proud of it if I’m honest. In the days when I was single and the recipient of a dick pic there was no snap chat or whats app so the owner of said dickRead More →

On our local mum’s network is a thread about who gets the weekend lie in.  You must bear in mind that this is a network primarily favoured by mothers but also those that care for children such as grandmothers, childminders etc etc.  I thought the norm would be to take weekend lie ins in turns.  That’s certainly what Vince and I (try to) do.  One of us has Saturday and the other Sunday although I’m invariably woken up by Big L who comes in to check he can get out of bed….every day. Sometimes I can get back to sleep, others not so much.  TheRead More →

You know those mums who totally have their shit together? Yeah?! Me too.  And I’m not one of them.  Let me tell you about my day in the hope that, in some small way it makes you feel better about yours.  Today was tough. It started out fine. I even managed a lie in until 7.30 (we don’t count the wake ups to feed or wee overnight). I made Vince’s sandwiches last night too so didn’t have to rush doing them  (yes we are very new age in our house)! The day went tits up somewhere around 8am. First of all I had only hadRead More →

There was an article in the local rag (Yes Kent Online, I’m looking at you) about a woman who had complained to a train company about workmen who had wolf-whistled at her.  Now.  Let’s set the scene. Said woman was alone on a (fairly remote) train station platform following an awards ceremony in London. She was waiting for a connecting train. She was dressed up.  It was late at night. She was wolf-whistled at by several workmen that were working for the train company nearby. She felt vulnerable. I can understand that.  I have walked home from the pub slightly inebriated (shitfaced) on countless occasionsRead More →

Ok.  Own up! Whose bright idea were baby groups? You know, the ones in a musty church hall with toys that probably failed safety regulations back in 1982 that cost you 50p for which you get a shitty cup of tea and a pink wafer biscuit. I hate these groups with a passion.  They were my biggest source of “mummy guilt” with my first child and I’ve vowed not to put that kind of pressure on myself this time. I didn’t have any friends with children the same age and to be honest I’ve come to the realisation that I’m not your average mum. ByRead More →

Jesus wept people. St.George’s Cross is NOT racist.  I don’t think it is.  Why do you feel the need to share pictures on Facebook suggesting it is? The fact that you do suggests you think it is too. Although I have to admit when I see it I have a pang of “oh shit the EDL are on one again” St. George’s  Cross has been pinched by twatty right wing extremists and you are buying into their propaganda. Get a grip. It’s England’s flag.  Take it back from those wankers and make it something to be proud of.  Don’t go shouting “if you don’t likeRead More →

One day Big L may read this (sooner rather than later at the rate he’s learning to read) and so, my Darling, I have to tell you that I love you very much but by heck you drive me fucking insane in the morning. Now I’m not a morning person. I find it difficult to get out of bed at the best of times.  Add to the mix making Daddy’s sandwiches (it’s cheese and ham daily but that’s all I can manage),  Big L’s breakfast and almost force feeding Big L said breakfast. “But,  Sweetheart. You asked for honey sandwiches” “I said honey. I meant Marmite”Read More →

So. Here it is. My first blog post. I’ve been umming and ahhing about writing a blog for a while. Despite appearances, I’m quite shy, but I also like to vent and I’m pretty opinionated – although I do value other people’s opinions and take them on board (at least I pretend to. I smile and nod and mutter “twat” quietly to myself). So. Let’s kick off with my first installment. Kids parties. So, it’s my first born’s 5th birthday soon and we are having a joint party for him with his friend. In a hall. With an entertainer. Fuck. My. Life. *sigh* This isRead More →