NSFSR – Not Suitable For School Run

 

We’ve all seen the NSFW tag added to videos on the Internet that generally entice me to watch them even more.  Usually with the sound off in case the Ls pick up any words they haven’t yet heard me utter under my breath or use whilst driving.  Anyway I *think* I just made up NSFSR in relation to a friend’s pyjama wearing.  It seems there are pyjamas that are suitable, and some that aren’t.  I’m assuming this also depends on whether you have to leave the confines of your car to walk your children to their classroom or indeed the distance you need to travel from your car to the drop off zone. But NSFSR is not limited to night clothes.  Ooooh no!

Let’s start with pyjamas shall we? I have only ever seen (noticed) one mum dropping off her children in her pyjamas.  I say noticed as these particular pyjamas were light pink brushed cotton.  Obviously pyjamas.  Had they been grey or black I wouldn’t have noticed – note to self, only wear night-clothes that can double up as day clothes. Let me point out that this school in particular is a little walk from any sort of parking, plus it is a primary school so, you know, this lady had walked a fair way in her brushed pink numbers. Now, I’m not here to judge anyone (although, let’s face it we all do whether we mean to or not) but even I, wearer of yesterday’s undercrackers, can pull on a pair of trousers, even if they are a crumpled mess on the floor. Hey ho! Each to their own.

Next, staying with clothing (or lack of) we have bras. I myself wear a bra whenever I leave the house.  It is a necessity or I’d be playing the world’s longest game of keepy uppy but friends of mine assure me that you can hide a lack of bra under a winter coat but the summer months are a whole different ballgame.  Obviously some ladies just don’t wear bras at all and that is fine and dandy.

Smoking.  Just not ok.  Don’t do it in the vicinity of a school.  I used to smoke and occasionally partake after one too many sherberts. It’s not cool outside a school.

One of my all time NSFSR is cars.  Many people have to drive to school.  That’s understandable.  My issue is with bad parking, parking so close to someone’s bumper that they can’t access their boot, blocking drives, parking on zig zags where the children cross, parking over the path so you can’t get past with a pushchair and have to walk on the road etc etc.  It really grips my tits.

What’s worse than bad parking? Bad fecking driving.  You know there’s a school, it’s school run time, you can see the children, DON’T mount the fucking path. DON’T get so close to the lollypop lady that she thinks she’s going to be run over (I personally witnessed this a couple of weeks ago). For the sake of all that is good and holy learn your highway code.  Don’t pull out of your driveway over a footpath where someone is pushing a pushchair I will bang on your window…yup, I will!

Phew.  That feels better

We walk most days, we have a fair walk but it’s actually preferable to the circus that is trying to park, get the pushchair out and so on, plus it’s nice to be able to chat to Big L. The problem with walking is you get stuck behind slow walkers.  Teenage boys on their way to school are the worst.  Then you have people at crossings in front of you that don’t cross at any given opportunity, and you can’t get past them.  Worst of all the stoppers. The ones that stop with no warning then glare at you when you run into the back of their ankles with your pushchair. Sorry!

Onto personal hygiene. I know, I know I’ve already admitted that I, on occasion, wipe under my armpits with a baby wipe. It’s better than nowt, surely? Not brushing your teeth is a risk though.  Imagine being called in to speak to your child’s teacher to discuss little Johnny’s behaviour (like flinging their poo at the back of the toilet door, this happened last week in the infant toilets. I shit you not) with breath that could melt steel? We’ve all done it though, right?

Yesterday’s make-up is a-ok, I’ve even been to work wearing the night before’s slap (I must have passed out lying on my back because it actually looked like I’d just put it on), but that trail of dry slobber around your mouth and down your cheek. Not ok.

Last but not least (for now) younger siblings.  God love ’em. They run amok. Kick your pushchair. Slow everyone down and generally get under your feet, I’m sure this will be Little L in the not too distant future so I’ll attempt to be patient. Being annoying not withstanding my friend’s little girl is forever kicking her boots off and apparently, children can die from cold feet or so it would seem from the reaction she gets and I have to say that old ladies in Sainsburys concur when Little L has no socks on.

So far that’s my round-up of NSFSR.  I’m sure I’ll think of more, I do like a good moan.  If you have any to add I’d love to hear them.

Mummuddlingthrough

21 Comments

  1. Hahaha love the one about parking so close to the boot this happens to me regularly (just last week infact) annoys the hell outta me I then have to put kids in car, move car then get out and put pushchair in and by this time k is even later for pre school than normal!!! Grrrr

    1. Author

      It’s a bloody passion in the arse is what it is! One day we’ll look back on this time and laugh

  2. Hah! Yes! Give those selfish car windows a hearty smack!

    1. Author

      They’re lucky that’s all they get (along with a few choice words through gritted teeth) 😉

  3. I love this post ! The school run is definitely an eye opener, I’ve seen many a sights that I would rather forget. I got asked to stay for assembly unexpectedly a few weeks ago, under my coat was a t-shirt that proudly said Naked ! I could have curled up and died. Thanks for linking up with #TuesdayTreasures

    1. Author

      That has made my day! Not to self never wear inappropriate t-shirts just in case 😂

  4. I never leave the house without looking decent (or at least presentable and smelling nice!). I don’t know how people do it! Thanks for joining in with #TuesdayTreasures xxx

    1. Author

      I didn’t before children now I’d never leave the house if I worried too much about my appearance (or smell 😉) xx

  5. just hilarious! Oh the mounting the kerb – actually in fact the whole disrespect with regard to car parking used to really get me – the blocking in of other cars and absolutely no apology – oh I could rant about that one all day!! Very entertaining! #CoolMumClub

    1. Author

      Thanks, I really dislike the school run 😉

  6. It crosses my mind every time that I really ought to brush my teeth before the school run, but I only remember about 50% of the time. I wonder if people have had any bad experiences with my breath or if I’ve managed to slide by!

    1. Author

      I guess it depends how close you get 😂

  7. Haha this is hilarious! We have a pretty hefty commute to nursery at the moment, so putting at least half a face on is a must! Sometimes the baby still has his pj’s on under his coat but ssshhhh, don’t tell! #CoolMumClub

    1. Author

      Snowsuits cover up babygrows very nicely 😉

  8. Great post!
    Makes my mornings seem normal!
    Sometimes as a parent you feel like everybody else copes better with the school runs than you!
    Good to know there’s someone else out there having mornings like me!
    Wishing you stress free mornings!
    #coolmumclub

    1. Author

      Today I got absolutely soaked and the pushchair STILL isn’t dry 😣

  9. I have another one to add – aggro mums who pick fights with you. Yes really, not me but happening in my daughters class right now! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xoxo

    1. Author

      Seriously? Bloody hell 😂

  10. Amen to the bad parking and worse driving. Are junctions for parking on, no they are not, grr. I reckon I’ve got some pajamas I could go out in, others are a definite no though, definitely a line to be drawn there. #coolmumclub

    1. Author

      Junctions, zigzags, pelican crossings hey park where you like 😉


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