We’re getting married!

I had you worried there for a minute didn’t I?

We aren’t, well not yet anyway. Although with Brexit I might do it just for the Visa.

I’ve been thinking about the main things you need to make a wedding extra special. OK I’ll be honest it’s things that I would like for my wedding. Or for other people to have at their weddings in order for me to enjoy them.

Here are my 5 ideas for a perfect wedding day, in no particular order:

  1. A wedding dress – I don’t think many of us want to walk down any aisles naked so something to wear is a must. I’m not a meringue style dress kind of a girl but I like to think I will wear a dress of some description.
  2. Bridesmaids – preferably ones that aren’t as attractive as you. You don’t want to be overshadowed on your big day. Or you could have Bridesblokes. Whatever, just make sure they make you look good.
  3. A groom or bride, whichever takes your fancy. You won’t get far at a wedding without a partner of some kind – it might be a bit lonely. If you have a groom he will need a stunning bespoke men’s tailored suit and ideally be a bit of a stunner himself. But, beggars can’t be choosers so…
  4. One hell of a reception. I like a party and I like a bit of a drink and a dance so a decent shindig afterwards is a must. I’m not that bothered about a sit down meal if I’m honest. I’ve been to a fair few weddings where I was, frankly, bored most of the day. Let’s keep things moving, shall we? Ceremony, quick stop for photos (a couple of glasses of fizz for everyone), food, quick speech and party. None of this long drawn out 5 course nonsense. We all know everyone is there to get a bit merry and let their hair down
  5. Cabs home. Please won’t someone think of the drinkers? Instead of favours and flowers, table decorations and all that nonsense you see advertised for sale in Facebook groups why not pay for people to get a cab home? Or, better still a hotel room. I like nothing more than seeing everyone at breakfast the morning after the night before.

There we have it! The five things I would do to make a wedding day better. What would you add to this list?

*this was a collaborative piece

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