Ahh the nineties. When I was young and carefree
They say youth is wasted on the young. I disagree.
I had the time of my life as a young woman, by young woman I mean up to the age of 33, when I became pregnant by the way. In some ways I still consider myself young, in other ways I feel like death warmed up. It’s all relative.
But, life was simpler then. The internet was in its infancy, smart phones had barely been invented. Heck! My first mobile phone, at the age of 20, had a pull up aerial and text messaging was a thing of legend. How time has changed. Would I like to be a young woman today? Hell no! And here’s why:
Getting ready to go out now vs the nineties
I was famed for taking a long time to get ready to go out back in the nineties. I prided myself on my ability to apply makeup, I was pretty good at it by all accounts. From memory I took an hour and a half maybe two hours tops from start to finish.
In that time I would have a shower, wash my (waist length) hair, shave my legs, put make up on, dry and straighten my hair and get dressed.
These days, I am reliably informed by a friend (a mother to a twenty-something), girls start getting ready for an evening out at midday. Mid-fucking-day (I was still recovering from the night before, I’ll have you know).
They CONTOUR their faces using sticky tape. STICKY TAPE. I ask you? What are they? A parcel? I mean, don’t get me wrong, they look beautiful, well some of them look like they have five o’clock shadow but still.
This leads me on to…
Looking beautiful now vs nineties
In the nineties and noughties pretty much anything went. Barely there make-up was quite the thing too. There were so many different styles. I was a grunger but, I like to think, a fairly glamorous one.
These days if you haven’t had botox or lip fillers by the age of 25 then you have some catching up to do. I have nothing against women making choices for their own bodies, and if it makes them feel better about themselves then so be it. But they all look the bloody same and, dare I say it, like extras from the Dark Crystal. When did this fakery become the new beautiful?
Fingernails are long and pointy, hair is extended, skin is tanned, eyelashes are applied even their cheekbones are painted on. Apparently outfits are discarded once they’ve been worn and featured on Instagram – I shit you not. I have knickers older than Instagram.
God bless the internet! Without it you wouldn’t be reading this. It’s a vital resource but with it comes all sorts of problems.
First there are trolls. We all have our own opinions, that’s what is great about us. But some people cannot see past their own ideals. It’s their way or the highway. They force their opinions on others, seemingly forgetting that there is a human with feeling on the receiving end of their bile.
Social Media & Messaging Apps
Thank heavens most of my mistakes did not play out on social media. OK one or two did, but hey ho. I didn’t grow up on it. Now your popularity is judged by how many “friends” you have – don’t trust anyone with more than 500, that’s just ridiculous.
Instagram gives a sneak peek into everyone’s seemingly “perfect” lives. They aren’t, it’s all smoke and mirrors. I don’t get Instagram as a social media, for me it’s nice photos – I’ll never make it as an Instagrammer…
As for Twitter it seems to be people complaining to companies about shoddy service – at least that’s what I use it for.
No one knows what anyone actually looks like with the invention of filters – I’m sorry, Susan, you’re fooling no one with those angel wings coming out of your neck.
WhatsApp? Forget it. Snap Chat? You’re having a laugh. Since the advent of messaging apps it seems sending nudes to one another (which I have never done btw. My arms are simply not long enough to fit me all in) is the norm. Sadly, the current trend is to see one anothers junk before you’ve even met. Knowing my luck I would end up sending my pic to my whole friends list. Sorry Great Uncle Derek, you thought I was allergic to cats…
Meeting a mate
In the good old days, you’d get dressed up (sans sticky tape and five o’clock shadow), go out, have a couple of drinks and bump into someone in a bar or a club. Maybe you’d spend an evening making eyes at each other, swap numbers and all that. These days you swipe left or right based on their looks. Where’s the fun? Where is the chemistry? Where is the LUURRVE?
So, yeah, I’m glad I was young when I was. I don’t think I could have afforded all the sticky tape for a start!
Me, Annie Bee tackled the same subject with Being Forty is Fabulous– check it out!