I am a little perturbed, nay, I’m fuming.  MSN have deemed it necessary to give me a best before date just because I’m turning forty with this list 40 things no woman over 40 should own.  Well….fuuuuuuck you MSN! Guess what I own a fair few of those things, I admit I still own a scrunchie, not for wearing out of the house but in bed to stop my hair getting on my nerves.  Oh yeah, I’m sexy and I know it!

In just under 3 weeks I turn the ripe old age of 40.  I don’t look it (even if I do say so myself). I don’t act it. And mentally I don’t feel it (although physically I feel about 95). I will not have some half-baked twat of a journalist on the internet telling me what I can and can’t own based on the day I was born.  If I want to wear low-rise jeans I flipping well will (I won’t – I’d look dreadful). If I want to use colouring pens I will.  If I want to drag out one of my chokers from the 90s guess what – I will!

What is it with the media’s obsession with a womans age? When women should do things or not as the case may be.  When should they get married? Have children?  Stop wearing charm bracelets (yup, they’re on the list too). I had my two children later in life, I was 34 when I had my first and 38 when I had my second. It was MY choice.  I wasn’t cut out for children earlier than that.  I was too selfish.

I liked partying and I hadn’t met the right man. So I will be entering my 40s with a 6 year old and a toddler in tow.

Do they who must be obeyed suggest that men stop wearing cargo shorts at 40? No, no they don’t. Should they dye their hair? No. Should they get waxed to within an inch of their cock? That’d be a no then. Why do we put up with this crap? Well, I for one will not!  Screw you MSN! Screw you Daily Mail and all you other publications that have given me a best before date.  I am happier in my own slightly saggy and wrinkly skin than I was 20 years ago. I have a confidence that comes with age and experience and, as the great Rage Against the Machine once said “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me”.

If you liked this you might like to read 10 things I wish I’d known before I turned forty

Up yours
Up yours


  1. Excellent! I’m 53 with a 14 and 12 yr old. The only thing that ages me is what these publications reckon I should be like! ! I wear what I like too and a scrunchie outside sometimes and its normally one of the kids!

    1. Author

      Haha! I find these articles very sad. I only hope that noone takes them too seriously and stops wearing their scrunchies 😉

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