Supporting Your Children Through A Relationship Breakdown
The end of a relationship can be tough on your emotions, but it’s even harder when you share the responsibility of taking care of your child and getting their lives back to normal after a breakup.
Getting them through the end of a relationship and showing them that they are still loved and treasured, despite the issues their parents are facing can be a challenge. To help, here are some tips on how you can give your kids the support they need during this tumultuous time in their lives.
Be Open And Honest With Them
When you’re dealing with the breakdown of your relationship, it’s important that you’re honest with your child and give them a chance to process all the new information you’re giving them. Talking to children about separation can be tough, but it’s important that you do it and take the time to explain everything in a clear and concise way, even to young children. They will have a lot of questions and need time to process everything, so be supportive and answer their questions as honestly as you’re able to.
Avoid Badmouthing Your Former Partner
Breakups can be toxic and challenging for your mental health, meaning that you can often develop negative feelings towards the person you used to love. This can lead you to say negative things that you may or may not mean. If children overhear this information, they might develop a bias against a particular parent, or repeat them and cause tensions in your family. As such, you should try not to be rude about your former partner around your child and explain to them the importance of being civil around everyone, even those you are no longer on close terms with.
Create A Workable Living Situation As Soon As Possible
You and your partner might not be a couple anymore, but you still share responsibility for your child, so it’s important that you work together to create a situation that works for everyone. Custody, maintenance and other issues will all need to be worked out, so choose a reliable family law firm to help you and your partner make these important decisions. An example of a quality organisation you could reach out to is this family law firm, Axiom Stone Solicitors, as their team has experience across a variety of practice areas, including divorce, child maintenance, grandparent’s rights and more, meaning that they can give you a complete service that will get you and your family back on track as soon as possible.
Get Them Into A Routine
For children, particularly very young ones, a routine can be comforting, so try to get them into one as quickly as possible after your breakup. Once you have a workable co-parenting system in place with your former partner you can start to create a set, regular routine that will help your child to feel like life is back to normal. Try to keep even small events, like mealtimes, playtimes and bedtimes, at the same time every day so that your child feels secure and safe in their routine.
Keep Them Connected To Their Other Family Members
During a breakup it can be easy to become insular and not want to go out and see the people you usually socialise with, but it’s important that you focus on keeping things as normal as possible for your child. As such, you should keep up their relationships with their relatives from both your family and your former partner’s as much as you can. Make these encounters as normal as possible so that your child is reminded that they’re still part of a family and that this hasn’t changed now their parents’ relationship is over.
Let Your Kid Be Angry
Children have every right to be angry and frustrated, the same as adults, so it’s important that you show your kids that this is OK during the process of your breakup. If you shame your child for their anger, then you will teach them bad habits for later in life. Instead, teach them how to cope with their anger and see it as a natural part of the healing process, rather than an unwanted emotion that they should supress.
Make Big Celebrations Collaborative
After your breakup, it can be hard to plan and create great celebrations, such as birthdays and holidays like Christmas. These are the times of year that will impact your child the most after the breakdown of your relationship with your co-parent, so it’s important that you involve them in the celebration and work with them to create a great event that your child will enjoy. By communicating with your former partner, you can show your child that they are still cared about by both parents and give them the chance to celebrate their special day with both of the people they love the most.
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