Following what can only be described as a “Festive Shitstorm”, parents declare Christmas Eve Eve a pyjama day.
There is also talk of making mince pies, chocolates and Bailey’s for breakfast compulsory for parents of children under the age of 11 which has been welcomed by 98% of those polled.
For the past few weeks parents have endured the antics of a “cheeky” elf
Regularly having to get back out of a warm bed muttering something about that “jug-eared mother fucker” (one assumes they’re not referring to their children). Or running downstairs before their children in the morning to move said elf. Some resorting to tactics like making up excuses “I dunno why it didn’t move. Maybe it just liked it there”.
Parents have sat through multiple nativities or Christmas plays
Watching their child play one of a number of humiliating parts while eeking out a tune on a ocarina (what EVEN are they?). Trapped for an entire hour despite their little cherubs part being in the first five minutes. Grimacing their way through the rest of the year-group’s efforts.
Parents have had enough of binge-buying batteries for toys where “batteries not included”
Visits to a Father Christmas who looks like he passed the CRB check by the skin of his teeth. Acne ridden Elves that look like they’ll be taking their mock GCSEs after the festive period.
Children are in danger of infanticide if they change their Christmas List one more time.
Reports of scenes not unlike Armageddon in Sainsbury’s because the shops are shut for ONE WHOLE DAY and if there isn’t any stuffing Aunty Mabel will do her fucking nut.
So, yeah. Christmas Eve Eve is declared a national pyjama day
Put your feet up. Stick a festive film on. Fill your boots with Bailey’s (other alcoholic beverages are available) and scoff mince pies like your life depends on it. You deserve it.