Contains items gifted for this post and affiliate links. I apologies if any terminology offends, I am still learning myself and am open to being corrected. A giveaway for Stickerscape name labels can also be found below – closes 20/08/23.
If you have a neurodivergent child, which includes (but is not limited to) ASD (autism), ADHD, DCD (dyspraxia) and dyslexia, or if you are yourself, you will know that approaching starting or returning to school can be different to neurotypical kids. I wanted to write this post for other parents helping neurodiverse children prepare for school
My youngest, Little L, will be starting year 3 this September. He has finally received his official ASD, ADHD and DCD diagnosis but we have known that he is autistic for some time. We became aware he may have DCD as he was unable to write, despite being able to read very well. It was suggested that he might have DCD and, low and behold he does.
I am a firm believer that knowledge is power, so having a diagnosis means that we are in a position to help our children. Having a diagnosis is NOT a label. Every neurodivergent child is different.
This post contains products, hints and tips that I have found to help Little L, and us, as well as some others that have been suggested that we will be trying going forward.
Approaching the start of, or return to, school for neurodiverse kids
Prepare, prepare, prepare! For us it’s not just routine that is important, but also knowing what is coming. Little L is happiest in familiar surroundings so obviously moving to a school or even changing classroom is a big deal for him. He will be moving from year 2 to 3 so will have a different classroom, teacher and teaching assistant. He has been able to go to the classroom to familiarize himself with it. I have had meetings with his current and new teacher to discuss what helps, and equally where issues arise and how to deal with them.
For Little L (and me) breakfast club has been a saving grace. Although he has breakfast at home he is able to be dropped off around 8am. At that time the roads are quieter which makes the journey less stressful, we can pull up in the school grounds and drop him to the door and say goodbye. There are hardly any people around so it is much more calm and quiet.
Getting ready in the morning for neurodiverse kids
One thing I found was that Little L’s self confidence was awful. He was always comparing himself to his classmates and noticed that they could do things that he couldn’t, or couldn’t do as well or quickly. Having DCD fiddly things like buttons and zips meant getting ready for school, or getting changed for PE, was a challenge so I highly recommend easy dressing uniform. Uniform with Velcro fastening, especially at the top button area, easy to do buttons, pull on trousers and shoes with hook and loop fastening make a massive difference. Even the teachers at Little L’s school commented on how good the David Luke shirts are:
Easy dressing uniform from David Luke
I find the uniform from David Luke is great and lasts really well. The Velcro on the shirt comes down a good couple of buttons worth, rather than some that just have a little square at the top. The trousers have a lovely stretchy elasticated waist, Little L doesn’t like the feel of the buttons used on the inside waist of a lot of trousers and these are fab and comfy.
The senior trousers are sold by waist and length and I love the fact that they still have the elastic on the back for comfort.
This uniform, and much more, is available directly from David Luke
Comfort is paramount when it comes to socks and shoes
Socks and shoes can be tricky as the feel against the skin is very important. I have realized since my own diagnosis that this is probably why I live in comfy shoes. I have never been able to do small heels and preferred Dr Martens from my teenage years onwards.
You can buy socks without seams for people who cannot bear the feel on their toes,Little L so far has not had an issue with this though.
Shoes from Start Rite
Start Rite have been a household name for kids shoes for donkey’s years and for good reason. They are comfy, easy for little hands and fingers to cope with dressing themselves and they last well. They also have a range for older children which have hook and loop fastening up to a size 9.
These particular shoes are the Rocket design. They have a cool pattern that glows in the dark which kids love, they are available in half sizes and several widths. £50 from Start Rite
Protecting against accidents while at school
Absorbant apparrel from Modibodi
Modibodi absorbant apparel is not only for children who have periods but it is also pee and sweat proof. Some neurodiverse children miss the cues to go to the loo or, like me, hold it for ages as they get distracted. Inevitably this can lead to embarrassing accidents, wearing Modibodi can help restore confidence and avoid the embarrassment. Please note, they are not a replacement for nappies.
Leak proof apparel is available directly from Modibodi
Protection from the sun
Sun protection for neurodivergents can be a tricky one. The feeling of sun lotion on the skin can be a sensory no no.It has taken us a long time for Little L to accept sun lotion, we use this roll on from Boots that he helps apply himself.
This super cute sun hat from Hotdog Wilson has a SPF of 50 as well as featuring a roll down flap to protect the delicate skin on the neck so it can be worn with the flap down or as a conventional cap as pictured. You can see the handy hook and loop straps which keep it in place.
Sun hat from Little Hotdog Watson
There are lots of different designs as well as winter versions, bucket hats and even scarves and sunglasses and they come in different sizes to fit most heads, even big adult ones!
This and other hats are available directly from Little Hotdog Watson
Label everything!
Name labels from Stickerscape
All kids misplace things, neurodiverse kids misplace things more, trust me! I have used Stickerscape labels for years and love them. They even last a good while on items you put in the dishwasher! There are a variety of different designs to choose from, I chose the sea creatures ones as Little L is particularly keen on them at the moment.
Name labels are available directly from Stickerscape and you can get 15% off your first order by signing up to Stickerscape’s newsletter via their website.
The journey to school for neurodiverse families
As I mentioned earlier, mornings can be stressful for neurodiverse families. Getting everyone up, fed, dressed and out of the door is, well, demanding. We live about a mile from school, which is a walkable distance, however it is not a nice walk. There are several busy roads to cross, the paths aren’t that wide and, as I am sure a lot of parents will tell you, a neurodivergent child can be unpredictable. Some will refuse to walk, some will want to run, some are clumsy and so on, all make it risky. It’s not as easy as just walking to school, there are a lot of factors to consider.
Travelling in a car also comes with a set of issues. You have to have a child lock on their door (seriously, one day I forgot and the door was opened as we drove along the road), you need to make sure your child can’t undo their child seat, even finding somewhere safe to park to help your child out of the car safely. The list goes on.
Making sure your child is visible when walking to and from school is really important and I just LOVE this backpack from Futliit. It has LED lights around the two main pockets that you turn on by pressing the bottom of the straps. They are really bright in the dark. My eldest started secondary school last year and having this rucksack makes me feel more confident that he can be seen when walking along the road.
The rucksack is also the perfect size for a laptop (it has a special laptop sleeve), is water resistant against the Great British weather and great for commuters as well as school kids. It got a huge thumbs up from both my boys, who are now fighting over which one of them gets to use it…
Futliit LED backpack
The awesome LED backpack is available directly from Futliit
Eating and drinking at school
Both my boys struggled with lunchtimes, for a few reasons. One reason being the dinner hall can be very loud, our school offer Nurture Lunch for children who aren’t keen on the dinner hall. Nurture Lunch is held in a different room and it is more quiet. The children also have the option to go to the Nurture Playground where there is less hustle and bustle than the main playgrounds. If your child struggles at lunchtime it is worth asking your school if they offer this.
Little L is quite particular about what he will and won’t eat. For this reason he takes in a packed lunch every day, we love this Sistema Bento style lunchbox from Amazon, I give him little picky bits in each section which he loves. I also give him the choice of having a school dinner if he wants one, his teacher knows he is allowed to have a school dinner even if he has taken in packed lunch, this gives him the choice without the pressure, just in case he doesn’t like it.
Something I hear a fair bit is that kids aren’t drinking enough. Neurodiverse kids (and adults) don’t always notice they are thirsty and might need prompting to have a drink. Having an easy to use drinking bottle to hand really helps Little L, if he has a bottle of drink in front of him he will sip at it all day. It needs to be easy to use though, if you have trouble with coordination some of the bottles available need too many twists, turns and presses to get in to.
Contigo drinking bottles
Contigo have recently launched the Jessie water bottle (pictured on the right). This bottle is completely dishwasher proof (a lot aren’t) which is great as Little L’s bottles get very mucky from sticky fingers and being dropped! The Jessie bottle also features a one button opening system, simply press the button on the front and the lid pops up. When finished, just push the lid back down and it is leak proof.
For older kids there is the Contigo Couture Matterhorn. This stainless steel water bottle keeps the contents cold for up to 24hrs or hot for up to 10hrs. It is leak proof and the top is attached by the handle so it can’t be lost.This bottle is hand wash only though.
Both items are available from the Contigo store on Amazon
Helping children gain confidence with writing and drawing
Writing and drawing is hard for Little L as he has DCD. This has really affected his confidence as he has noticed that his classmates’ writing and drawing is “tidier” and more advanced than his. Pencil grip, coordination and so on are the main culprits here, he can read fluently so it must be very frustrating to know how to spell something and form the words in his head but the message gets lost somewhere between his brain and his hand.
Stabilo Easy Start stationery
Little L has been using the Easy Start range from Stabilo for some time, in fact Big L used the pencils when he was younger too. The range has been created to be ergonomic and aid pencil grip which in turn helps letter formation. They are available for both right and left handers (I have one of each!) and in a variety of colours. There is even a pencil sharpener which is easier for Little L to hold and sharpen his own pencil – all these small things to help him to be self sufficient add up to build self esteem.
The Stabilo Easy Start range are available from stationers, supermarkets and Amazon
Helping with distractions in the classroom, and beyond
Having ADHD myself I know how easy it is to get distracted. As an adult I find it hard to concentrate on a conversation in a crowded place, I find myself listening to all the other conversations going on around me.
Loop earplugs
I have been very curious about Loop earplugs. I have only just received these but I was amazed at how well they seem to cancel out the background noise and help you focus on what you need to. They are available in a variety of designs which aim to help people in different situations. The Engage featured here are designed for conversation, you can hear your own voice clearly with the added bonus that you won’t shout at your conversation partners!
Loop have also just launched Engage Kids, a range designed for kids aged 6 and over in some really cute and funky colors with different sized tips to suit smaller ears:
Loop earplugs are available from Amazon
Little L has used sensory and fidget toys for a while. The school use them a lot when they want children to focus and to help calm, there are very few people who can resist a good squish of sensory toy!
Toy Mania sensory and fiddle toys
These toys are all from Toy Mania available from Smyths Toys. I cannot tell you how thrilled Little L was when he saw them. He has been playing with them ever since, the surprise box is genius because kids love a blind bag!
The sensory and fiddle toys from Toy Mania are available from Smyths Toys
Making learning fun
Something most people know is that children learn best when they are having fun. This can be in lots of different ways from going out bug hunting, days out to a castle and games you play at home.
Orchard Toys educational games
Orchard Toys have loads of games that help children to learn while having fun. Each game supports children with a variety of essential skills such as times tables, spelling, phonics as well as speech, language and communication skills. We have been playing the Times Tables Heroes game this morning and it is a great way to brush up times tables skills (especially for me!), it’s great fun with the added extra of using your imagination as part of the game.
Available directly from Orchard Toys as well as Amazon
Rubik’s Cubes were possibly the first fidget toy (they might not have been so don’t quote me on that). Used for decades to pass time (I had one in the 80s but the coloured squares were stickers and you can probably guess what I did when I couldn’t work out how to solve the puzzle…) these are great to keep both young and old minds focused.
Rubik’s games
Obviously these days there is more than just the Rubik’s cube available. There are all sorts of other puzzles and games which all help to pass the time, focus the mind and manage anxiety.
Available from all good toyshops as well as Amazon
At the end of the school day…
All children are different but most will be really hungry at pick up so I always take some kind of snack for Little L. After school can be really challenging for a neurodivergent child, the concentration and effort to get through a day of school is so much more than for a neurotypical child so we often have tears and meltdowns. A lot of children mask at school and let it all out at home. Knowing this helps, having a little treat or toy to take their mind off it is crucial – but I do forget sometimes, no one is perfect (not even me!).
Little L doesn’t do after school activities as I think they would be too much for him so we usually just come home and chill out. Sometimes with tea and a biscuit and a chat about our day to wind down.
Most of Little L’s classmates go to clubs or have play dates after school. We have the occasional playdate but I always go too, the same with parties and day trips with the school, I’m lucky that being self employed allows me to do this. Anything that is a change from routine ot that’s boisterous or loud can be overwhelming. I want Little L to have as “normal” childhood as possible so it’s important he is able to attend class parties and day trips with me or my partner’s support.
Be open with teaching staff and other parents
We know that being neurodivergent is nothing to be ashamed of. I think attitudes are changing but not quickly enough which is one of the reasons I am open about my own and my families neurodiversity. I think it also helps if parents of classmates know, it gives them a better understanding if your child is upset at sports day or the school play or pick up. Little L’s classmates don’t know he is autistic as such but they understand that he sees the world differently and needs to take a break from his desk, to make noise while he’s concentrating, to go to the sensory room and so on. I am told by his teacher that none of his classmates say it’s unfair that he gets time out of class, they accept it. At sports day his team mates help him, it’s lovely to witness them supporting him and it is important that neurotypical children understand that there is nothing wrong with neurodiverse people, quite the opposite!
The main thing for me is to not compare children or our parenting. They are all different and all have different needs, if meeting those needs means they don’t do after school clubs like their peers, or their after school snack isn’t a healthy option, that doesn’t make you a bad parent.
I really hope this post has helped. If you have any other suggestions please feel free to let me know.
