If you’re looking for plus size tanning tips you’ve come to the right place
It’s been a while since I used a sunbed but my Bestie is getting married next weekend so I thought I’d treat myself to a course. I’ve left it a bit late but hey ho! Anyway, once you step in the shop it all comes flooding back. If you’ve never been before I’ve put together a little guide –
Plus size tanning tips for glasses wearers
If you wear glasses you might not be able to see the START and STOP buttons. Locate these prior to taking off your glasses and entering the booth
Locate the start/stop button
Lie down sunbeds are a no no!
If, like me, you’re a “sturdy girl” never, ever use the lie down beds. Your boobs and tummy will get all squished and likely burnt. You’ve seen kids with their faces pressed against a window…that’s your body.
Never lie down on a sunbed
Don’t look down when standing up tanning
For some reason (I’m sure it’s not for aesthetic purposes) the floor of stand up sunbeds is a mirror. Don’t, for the love of God, look down. I did. I’ve not had a wax for a while, I’ve also had one baby naturally (and an episiotomy). It’s a sight I’m not likely to forget for some time.
Don’t look down
If you want an evenly tanned boobs remember to manouvre them
If you’ve got big boobs, or boobs that are pointing in a southerly direction spend at least half the time holding them up. Otherwise you’ll end up with a white upside-down McDonald’s M around your waist area (or in my case as low as your belly button).
Lift ’em up
For a nicely tanned bum…
Unless you want a white arse crack BEND OVER!!
Bend over!!
So, basically in order to get an even, all-over tan you need to be bending over while holding your boobs up, like this…
Optimum “all-over tan” pose
By the way, I’m not endorsing the use of sunbeds. Please be sensible and all that.
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Oh I do love your blogs, certainly start a full day off well lol ???
Cheers Joey! I enjoy writing them. Feel free to share them on Facebook, if i can get enough of a following I might even be able to make some money from it…I can only hope ?
I love the child like drawings. They remind me of the school tea towels parents feel compelled to purchase, because one of the tiny drawings, that could easily be missed is their little darlings, the other 200 odd drawings is anyone’s guess.
Thanks, Jas. I have several of said tea towels…
I think that is all the reasons whilst I’m quite happy to be pale. I would definitely fall over in the ‘optimum position’ Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
Wow I did NOT appreciate the technicalities of tanning!! Chuckling away here… #FridayFrolics
Oh my goodness, this sounds far too stressful. I think that I will opt to stay pale and interesting 😉 #FridayFrolics
Haha! I’ve never used one and I’m now quite glad of this! Thanks so much for joining us for #FridayFrolics